LEASON CASDIN & ALEX GOLDIN — The Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) connects the thigh and shin bones, and controls the front and back motion of your knee. For that reason, a full tear of this ligament can be a very serious injury. While these injuries are relatively rare, it seems as though the ACL gods have looked unfavorably upon the Collegiate community, with the number of ACL tears almost quadrupling over the past couple years. So, as a precaution, we have been instructed to tell the sad tales of the fellow dutchmen who sacrificed their ACLs to further educate our community.
Disclaimer: These acts were performed for your protection, do not try them at home.
Let’s start from the basics: how does one tear their ACL? As the ligament is designed to control forward and backward motion, any unnatural lateral movement at the knee may stress or damage the ACL. For example, in the NFL, ACL injuries are quite common as players put unnatural stress on their knees when making cuts or getting tackled. This type of tear is also common on the soccer field. This brings us to our first test subject:
This soccer season, one of our beloved dutchmen had his ACL viciously snatched from him at practice as he was crossed up by a fellow dutchmen. This athlete will remain anonymous for his protection, but for all intensive purposes let us call him Shatteo Mackman. Despite the debilitating nature of his injury, Shatteo showed resilience in his continuous support for the soccer team. Shatteo, we want you to know that if you are reading this, we commend your efforts and wish you the best of luck in your recovery.
Another soccer player tore his ACL two years ago. This athlete, commonly referred to as “ACL,” lost his structural tissue to the infamous “Ice Monster” that plagues ski resorts across the East Coast. Due to his unfortunate circumstances, ACL was unable to perform at 100% capacity last season. Unfortunately, while competing in a violent courtyard basketball game, ACL’s knee gave out once again. However, ACL’s grit shone through when he scored a goal against Hackley this soccer season. ACL, we appreciate your sacrifice and congratulate you on a successful recovery.
The final example, the most generous donor, has contributed two ACLs to the cause. Before he tore his ACL, this student tore up the slopes. Sadly, he too surrendered his ACL to the Ice Monster. But that is not all. When he finally finished his recovery, things took a turn for the worse when he stepped onto the baseball diamond. Sources say that there is still an investigation as to whether or his second injury was a result of Lyme Disease or just being in Florida, but we will update you when we know more.
To all three victims, on behalf of the entire Upper School, we salute you.
Stay tuned for the next edition of the injury report.
The Dutch Report 