The Dutch Report

Dutchman Limerick

JESSE ROONPRAPUNT — There was once a Collegiate Dutchman, Who wanted to find his crutch an’, He fell down the stairs, Catching everyone’s stares, But at least he found his crutch, man

Señora Epstein Interview – Sabbatical

CHARLES SCHELL — At the end of this winter break, Señora Susana Epstein will leave Collegiate for a semester-long sabbatical. Señora Epstein has taught at Collegiate for twenty-six years. A backbone of not just the language department but also the greater Collegiate community, Señora Epstein is admired within the student body and respected by herContinue reading “Señora Epstein Interview – Sabbatical”

Dress Code

Jay Tsai — Forget industrial revolutions. Forget the rise and fall of empires, and forget the wars. Forget the golden ages and technological advancements; the only thing that has remained constant throughout modern history is the age-old debate over Collegiate’s dress code. Since 1628, the founding of our school, many famous thinkers have gifted theContinue reading “Dress Code”

Dutch Varsity Soccer Recap 2021

Oliver Goldin — This year’s Collegiate Soccer regular season has come to a close. The Dutchmen entered the season hoping to follow through on the goal of making it to the postseason. Although they started the season on a loss, the Dutchmen quickly responded with a stunning 5-0 win against Dalton. Soon after the DaltonContinue reading “Dutch Varsity Soccer Recap 2021”

The World for Which I Hope

POEM | ISAAC LOH — I would accept a world okayWhere you and I are justly weighedIn full, jury to condem usFailed, but by concensus. I wish for a world that could be better,At least for me.A world in which I’m better,Where only I am not a mess, though fail you are I say,So am,Continue reading “The World for Which I Hope”

The Elite Protein Shake

CALEB SCHERZER — Are you looking to get ripped? Put on some muscle? Achieve that summer bod? Well then this is the page for you. Follow this recipe to unlock your true potential. Chocolate Coffee Protein shake Cook time: 5-10 mins 151 calories 2g fat 5g Carbs 27g protein 1 cup of iced coffee ½Continue reading “The Elite Protein Shake”

Riddle of the Week 2

What is 2/11 hospitality, not you, half of word, and ends with 18 + 11? ANSWER: homework

European Super League or European Super Greed?

KAMRON NORASTEH — On Sunday, April 18, AC Milan, Atletico Madrid, Barcelona, Inter Milan, Juventus, Real Madrid, Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool, Arsenal, Chelsea and, Tottenham announced a breakaway “Super League.” The European Super League, as the clubs named it, would be an additional mid-week competition alongside domestic leagues and cups. It was to includeContinue reading “European Super League or European Super Greed?”

Immanuel Quickley

CALEB SCHERZER — Have the knicks found the future point guard of their franchise? I think so, and that man is 6-foot-3 guard Immanuel Quickley. Quickley was drafted by the Oklahoma City Thunder with the No. 25th pick in the draft and soon after sent to the New York Knicks in a trade. Labeled aContinue reading “Immanuel Quickley”